costumes

so tonight i went to dinner with the guy i've been hanging out with.. and me being me, i just couldn't keep it in any longer. so after dinner and a game of scrabble, i asked why we hadn't kissed since the second date because i'd like to, and it seems like he would too.. until the 3 minutes while we're saying goodnight. he said he thinks you shouldn't rush into relationships before you know the person, and it's important to be friends first and then see what it turns into. but he does feel sparkle for me.

and while we were sitting there, that all made sense to me and sounded alright.

but on the drive home, i decided that doesn't sound fine at all. becca and abha are married to men who look at them like the world revolves around them. and they looked at them like that from the first day they met. and they knew they wanted to be around that person forever.

so i don't know. i'm going to hang out with this guy as friends and maybe he'll be right, but i want to be in a relationship where you think about me throughout the day and you look forward to the next time you see me, and you can't imagine me not being in your life. and you're not afraid to start something and see where it ends up. ..and to be honest, i'm lovely. and if that isn't obvious to you after 5 non-dates, then we probably shouldn't be together anyway.

so, that's that. i'm bummed because it felt so right, but it's better to know a month in instead of getting more and more invested only to be disappointed. on to the next!