stop to hold their hand

i used to be a really good girlfriend. i often ignored the rules of waiting to call such and so amount of time or the appropriate time to bring up certain topics.. but i always felt like i had a good sense of how things were supposed to go, and i'm good at dinners with parents and dinners and a movie.

but it has been so long since i've done any of that properly that i've completely forgotten how to do it. i say that keith was my boyfriend in taiwan, but we were only there together for like 2 months, and we really weren't in a relationship. and 'bf' is part of 'twbf', but we never even kissed. so. not counting them, it's been almost four years since i've been in a relationship. !. (jim just got engaged a few weeks ago, incidentally).

also before i go too much further, i should mention that this guy is definitely not my boyfriend. it's been two dates since we even met, but my point is that i feel like i've never done this before. suddenly i'm thinking too hard about how often i text or email or call.. and all of the protocol for the time period before you're officially dating someone. now that we've kissed once, do we always kiss goodnight now? do i invite him to group stuff as my date? when do we chat about exclusivity?

..i guess the only thing you can do is let it happen naturally and all of that just works out. it's definitely fun to have butterflies and someone always running through your mind though. it's just a little bit hard waiting to define it when i really want it to stick. keep crossing your fingers.